The Mystery of Trowa's Hair
by Eryniell
Summary: PG for one bad word. The mystery of Trowa's hair is discovered, and a certain braided bishounen demonstrates the addictive powers of chocolate.


The Mystery of Trowa's Hair… and the Addictive Power of Chocolate

Yo. I don't own Gundam Wing or the Giant food store. I do, however, own a hell of a lot of Gundam Wing pictures, a couple of gundam models, an annoying cashier, and a lot of hair gel, thanks to Trowa. 

The Mystery of Trowa's Hair… and the Addictive Power of Chocolate

~ In the rather large house where the five Gundam pilots live ~

((The shower is running in the bathroom [Trowa's in there] and the other four guys are in the living room, watching TV. Duo is eating chocolate for breakfast.))

Duo: Ahhh, nothing like 6 pounds of solid chocolate to wake you up in the morning. Right, Heero?

Heero: ((cautiously pokes the piece of chocolate Duo has set in front of him and instead decides to go find something more edible in the kitchen)) Uh… right, Duo. Whatever you say.

((Trowa comes out of the bathroom in his normal outfit, but his hair is slicked back behind his head.))

Trowa: Hey, Wufei! Where'd you put all the – ((Trowa notices Duo, whose mouth is hanging open and is looking rather confused))

Duo: Who are you and why are you wearing Trowa's clothes?

Trowa: It's just me, Duo.

Duo: Whoa, you even __sound__ like Trowa! 

Trowa: ……

Duo: Come on, man. Where'd Trowa go?

Trowa: Shut up, Duo. ((walks over to Wufei)) So, Wufei, where'd you put all the hair gel?

Duo: You mean you really __are__ Trowa? But what happened to your hair?

Trowa: You baka! Do you think my hair does that naturally?! I ask you, Duo, why do you think there used to be 20 bottles of hair gel in the basement?!

Duo: Uh…

Trowa: So, if you'll stop interrupting with stupid questions, does anyone know where the hair gel is?

Quatre: I don't think there's any left. I saw Wufei using it this morning.

Trowa: ((collapses on the floor)) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Are you _**_sure__ **you're Trowa?

Trowa: *pant, pant, gasp* Yes.

Duo: Trowa doesn't scream like a girl. Are you __really sure__ you're Trowa?

Wufei: Shut up, Maxwell. ((pulls Trowa off the floor)) Come on, weak baka. We're going to buy more hair gel.

Trowa: *sobs* My hair… It'll die before we can get the hair gel… I know it, I just know it. My hair can't survive that long without gel in it. ((covers his face with his hands and sobs some more))

Wufei: ((drags Trowa out the door)) This is injustice…

((All of the others follow))

~ Giant grocery store ~ ^_^ [You can buy everything here]

Announcer over PA system: Welcome, shoppers! We have about a million specials today, but they're all for really pointless things like hair gel. ((sees Trowa through security camera)) Whoa! What the heck happened to that guy?!

((By this time, Trowa is being carried through the store, still sobbing. His hair is still slicked back and soaking wet, and Heero is carrying Trowa's arms while Wufei carries his legs. Duo is being dragged along by Quatre.))

Duo: ((still feeling the side effects of having chocolate for breakfast)) Are you sure you're Trowa? Are you really, really, absolutely sure? *cackles insanely*

Quatre: Duo, I'm quite sure that he _is_ Trowa. You don't need to keep asking him.

Duo: Yes, I do! Are you sure you're Trowa? ((Quatre grabs a roll of duct tape off a shelf and opens it)) Are you sure you're – ((Quatre slaps duct tape over Duo's mouth)) Mmph… ((Duo continues mumbling underneath the duct tape))

Wufei: ((drags Trowa down the hair supplies aisle)) Look. They have every possible kind of hair gel you could ever want.

Trowa: ((stops crying and his eyes light up)) MY HAIR GEL!!!!! ((hugs a bottle of hair gel and starts to cry happily)) Huh? What's this? Those sparkles… they're my tears.

Heero: ((smacks Trowa and Trowa comes out of his daze))

Trowa: Okay, let's go. ((He grabs an empty shopping cart that has appeared out of nowhere and starts throwing in bottles of hair gel)) Look, this is such a miracle. The hair gel is on sale. Buy one, get ten free. Let's get a lot.

~ Five minutes and 300 bottles of hair gel later: at the checkout counter ~

((Gundam pilots start loading hair gel onto conveyor belt))

Duo: ((still has his mouth duct-taped shut, grabs a King-sized chocolate bar and holds it out to Heero)) Mm mwph mpf?

Heero: ((monotone voice)) Let me guess, you want it?

Duo: ((nods head vigorously until he has a headache. He grabs a bottle of aspirin from a nearby shelf and slams it down on the conveyor belt))

Quatre: But, Duo! You just had 6 pounds of chocolate for breakfast.

Heero: ((takes chocolate from Duo's hand and sticks it on the conveyor belt)) Let him have it, Quatre.

Quatre: But isn't chocolate bad for you? ((takes the chocolate and starts to put it back)) All that sugar might ruin his brain cells.

Wufei: ((snickers)) What brain cells?

Heero: ((stands in front of Quatre so that he can't put the chocolate back)) Quatre, I'm not moving. There's a chocolate bar to defend.

Cashier: Um, excuse me, sir. If you're done arguing, I'd like you to pay me now.

Heero: ((taking his wallet out from one of the thousands of invisible pockets in his spandex shorts)) Alright, how much is it?

Cashier: $5,568,347,291. Oh, and 74 cents.

Heero: ((faints))

Wufei: WHAAAAAAT?!?!?! Evil onna! Evil onna! This is injustice!

Quatre: Oh my… that does seem like a lot of money.

Wufei: I thought there was a special!

Cashier: Yes, but that sale only lasted until 11:00 AM. Sir, it is now 11:01.

Wufei: ((turns around to go put the hair gel back)) Alright, forget it. I'm not buying this stuff.

Trowa: But… but… my hair gel… ((a single tear rolls down his cheek))

Wufei: ((gets all teary-eyed, not quite noticing that he's actually being nice for once, and turns around)) Oh, I'm sorry, Trowa. I'm so sorry. What was I thinking? ((takes out his wallet and puts all of his money on the counter. He realizes he doesn't have enough, and wrestles Heero's wallet out of his hands. He empties all of Heero's money onto the counter, but he still doesn't have enough.)) Quatre, do you have any money?

Quatre: ((pulls out his HUGE wallet and gives the cashier $4,000,000,000.)) Unfortunately, I don't have enough money either.

Wufei: Hmm… maybe I have some more money. Because with Heero unconscious, Duo… uh… unstable, and Trowa sobbing, there's no way we can get any more money. ((He digs through his pockets and finds, two pencils, a sticker, a butter knife, a piece of wood, six soda can tabs, a pack of bubble gum, a can of Pepsi, a Gundam Wing Shenlong action figure, a Koosh ball, a balloon, and a portable CD player with a Two-Mix CD in it. He dumps it all on the counter.)) There, is that enough to pay off the other $100,000.74?

Cashier: Hmm… I suppose so. It's my birthday, and no one's ever given me a balloon for my birthday. ((grabs the balloon Wufei pulled out of his pockets and glomps him, accidentally smearing lipstick all over his cheek when she kisses him)) Thank you! Thank you so much!

Heero: ((finally wakes up)) …Huh?

Trowa: *whimpers* Can we go now? My hair hurts.

Duo: nods his head while sorting through the grocery bags. He finally finds what he's looking for and triumphantly holds up his chocolate bar. Then he figures out that he can rip the duct tape off of his mouth with his hand.)) MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM HELL!!!!!!!!! ((He runs out of the store, cackling insanely while holding the chocolate above his head))

Quatre: Shouldn't we go after him? It could be kind of dangerous, him walking around the streets in the condition that he's in.

Heero: Naw, just leave him out there. He'll find his own way home. Either that or get hit by a car.

((A loud car horn is heard outside, followed by a scream, followed by a crash, followed by a tree falling down and caving in part of the roof, followed by silence.))

Wufei: Uh oh…

((All four Gundam pilots run outside, and their jaws drop at what they see [all except for Trowa who is still crying happily at the fact that he has hair gel again]. Duo is squished between a car and a tree, but because he is a 2D cartoon person, he casually slides out from between the car and the tree, and continues walking down the road, whistling "Just Communication".))

Heero: ((turns and walks down the road, carrying 100 shopping bags in his hands as if nothing strange has happened at all.))

((Quatre and Wufei follow behind him, each carrying another 100 bags. Trowa's wrist has one of those child leash things around it, and the other end is around Wufei's wrist as they walk home. Trowa is still sobbing happily, even though he has no more tears left in his entire body.))

~ Back at the Gundam pilots' house ~

((Trowa happily runs out of the bathroom. His hair is now, er… normal [if you can even call it normal] and he is smiling.))

Trowa: Hey guys, look at my – 

((Heero, Quatre, and Wufei around crouched down next to Duo, who is unconscious. Next to him is an empty bottle of Aspirin with the cap off.))

Heero: Never give a full bottle of Aspirin to a guy who has just eaten 6 pounds of chocolate. That's the moral of this story.

Trowa: Oh… okay. I'm going to go show my friend, Mr. Lion, my hair. Bye, guys.

That's it. Hope you liked it. Please review, I need reviews. This is the first humor fic I've ever tried and I wanna know if I'm good or not. Ja ne, mina-san! 


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